Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
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