help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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