you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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