I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
