he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
