Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
