She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
