the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I feel like a drive thru vagina
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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