Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
