he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
