you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize