She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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