Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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