ugly people sure do ruin things
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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