I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
