i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
