Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
