Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
