i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
