my vag is so smooth its legendary
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
