They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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