reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Everyone says I win the strip club
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize