Where are you?
In a non slutty way
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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