So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
