do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
