pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
