Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Randomize
