i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I pour the whiskey from now on
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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