How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
