If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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