i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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