i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
can u get pink eye on your cock?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
