so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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