My nipple is on Facebook.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Randomize
