White coat. Heels.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
the liver wants what the liver wants
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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