Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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