Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
