Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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