I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
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