i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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