porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
