Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
