so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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