I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
id be glad to
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
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