We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
you made out with another girl for some wings
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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