So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
