i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
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