i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
