his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize