Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize
