I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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