found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
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