Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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