How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
