Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
