Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
