At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
