Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
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