do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
