Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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