Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
The air taste purple.
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