Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
What drink are we having for lunch?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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