Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
